രാഗം

നിനച്ചിടാത്തൊരു പകൽക്കിനാവു പോൽ-

വന്നണഞ്ഞെൻ    ഹൃദയ തന്ത്രിയിൽ നീ. 

പകച്ചു നിന്നൊരെന്നന്തരങ്കത്തിൻ-

തുടിപ്പ് നിന്നൊരാ നിശബ്ദ വേളയിൽ. 

നെർത്തൊരീണമായ് വന്നലിഞ്ഞു പോയ്‌-

സ്നേഹറാന്തൽത്തിരി ദീപ നാളമേ.

വെളിച്ചമായ് ദ്രുതം അകം തെളിച്ചിടും-

പ്രണയ ഗന്ധിയായ് മിഴികളിൽ വിടർന്നിടും.     

നിനച്ചിടാതെത്തിയ ഹൃദയരാഗമേ-

നിലകൊൾക നീ.. മമ ജീവനിൽ സ്ഥിരം.            

Them !

Who were they?

They were everyone-
who were bits and pieces
of my absolute wholesome.
They were part of my-
making and breaking.
Their whispers lingered with chills-
in my eardrums and never faded.
Their screams perished-
into thin air without-
being heard nor remembered but forgiven.

How long did it took for them
to break my trust
and fumble my heart?
How long did it took for me-
to pick them pieces up,
and patch them together
with forgiveness and hope?

Those who were-
Teachers made me wise,
Those who were-
fakers made me wiser!

Those of them who drowned me
with their pointless drama,
which I revert with dreamless slumber.
Those of them with a cheery disposition,
I keep 'em close and closer to my heart.
Life with them is meaningless, I know-
but is it worth living every bit ?!

The person I have become,
was moulded by the many them.
The classifications, endless; as
friends, enemies, family, strangers,
neighbors, colleagues, penfriends- 
so on ; so forth. 
the luxuries I am surrounded with,
the people who I am with, are results,
to the ever endless events and its consequences.
Life is but a transaction of the multitudes-
of emotions,  chemicals. 
So yes, life could be hard and meaningless, 

but still worth a shot.

if you have a strong passion....

So long haven’t blogged… really bored…. No new things happening to write…. I feel like loosing all my good old friends….. now have only a few people to talk …. Everyone are busy…..

At infineon, Remya is there…. But Yen chen is shifted to another department… so boring without him.. He used to teach me magic during free time…. Now hardly see him…

At kfc, Jilu and Rongping….. both good company… Sazali also free to talk anything… have a positive attitude….. Ryan also nice guy… but always makes me angry , …. But he is a very nice guy… he tried to teach me some…. cool break dance steps…. …. and one more kool person...

our manager at kfc... Sitti..... really wonderful person.... i am praying to god please dont take her away from Lido... Very free and frank personality....

Even if she is serious she talks very calmy and i never felt offended when she gets angry to me... I feel very comfortable to work with her... a caring person...

Gina is gone ...Jessie is Gone.... i really miss both of them.... :(

From India, Jenu and Ananth… really caring friends of mine…. Both of them are my very best friends…. I can swear on god, its really hard to get friends like them…. Really sincere guys…. I am so unlucky that they are so far away from me….

I am dying to be an actor……. After these studies and stuff ……. Should get a good job…. Then I should pursue my dream,……… it’s hell of a passion I started to nurture since I was 14 years old…… its still there…… I hope it will come true…

If you have a strong passion it will come true… I believe….!!!

This is a teaser of blockbuster Dhoom2....stass Hrithik Roshan, Abhishek Bachchan, Aishwaria Rai, Uday Chopra n Bipasha Basu..

The Dream

This is a dream that I saw last week.....i felt this dream and it was very nostalgic....so i just wrote it up....i would like to share it with you....every thing written below is an exact copy of events that happened during my dream....

To miss (Someone)

I am at Lekshminivas(our home' in Trivandrum)…I calls her and invites her to my home at kilimanoor…she agrees to come….and she came…she is wearing a churidhar…she looks beautiful…..i received her and took her inside….i don’t know what happened then….i must have introduced her to my parents…she might have joined us for lunch…..

Then suddenly the dream is resumed when its time for her to leave….i am taking her to the gate….we are standing near the post….buses stop there…..we are waiting for bus number 29….i don’t know if this number has any significance in my life …. Its neither my birthdate nor her’s…..her’s is on june or july ….. I should ask her some day….. so that I can call her and wish her happy birthday…. Also if I am in india I can buy her some presents….i always loved to….!

We are talking…..both of us seem very happy….i am flirting with her….also I tell her that last time when I called her on phone her brother took it…..every time her mother takes it and I often talks to her ……it was on 13/09/08 ….so I tell her to give my regards to her mother……she seems to like my company…….my heart is beating so fast that I am filled with love…… she may know it…….she knows….. I haven’t got a chance like this to talk to her…this dream is beautiful…

I like her smile….i like her eyes….she has big round eyes…..i like her hair…..its long and strong…..i think it is light brown in colour…..whenever I see purple or pink flowers she comes to my mind…..whenever I see a romantic movie …..she comes to my mind….whenever I hear a love song…she is there ……whenever I goes to sleep….i prays for her……..

While we were talking some people gather at the bus stop….there is a man with hair…he is fat and brown…..at first I thought he was a woman….he misbehaves to her and I am angry at him….there is a talk…….and the guy sounds to have good contacts…..she is so angry……I am trying to cool her down…but she is off control….she threatens him that she will file a case against him….the guy looks around and asks if anybody is a witness…everyone remain silent…..then a blind person comes and tells her that he is willing to be the witness(Kalabhavan Mani)…..she agrees and thanks the blind guy……I wonder if she has any concern about me……she can ask me to be the witness……..how the hell can a witness be blind like him……………..

wierd…!!! ???

…but this dream is beautiful…because she is there…….

The bus number 29 passes without stopping and everybody is talking about her courage and I looks stupid……….

I think this sentence should be rephraced…..everyone is busy talking about the issue, even she……and the bus passes without stopping that leaves a look on my face that says ….” What the hell is goin on….? Are these people crazy ?“

The dream is resumed without showing what happened after the bus stop incident……we are still walking…..we are talking…..i am not sure what the subject is…?…….but I know one thing….i am going to propose her before she leaves…I am going to tell her that how much I love her… that is a decision……….i am so excited…...

This is a beautiful dream……

On our way we see Yen Chen…….he smiles at me and walk past me without talking…I wonder he is going to give magic lessons…..,maybe his first class…that’s why he is happy………he told me so on 19/09/08 while we were going for lunch after working at infineon…….

We go to a beach….it looks like a beach…..it has a bridge nearby……I wonder where the bridge goes……maybe its not a beach….….but i can see the horizon…..its beautiful ………..it should be evening right now…..i see Donovan and a girl…..i think it’s a girl… walking past me to the bridge……..we say hai to eachother….he goes to center of bridge and takes off his clothes…..no he dint took off his underclothes,….he cant do that,.. there are so many people at the beach…..

I am so astonished when he jumps to the water from that high bridge……….he is swimming…..there is a plane floating on the water….what does that mean?...yes…. a big plane…..i assume it is silk air….when Donovan swims past the plane….it appears to be the size of a car….thats weird……….

Where is she………?

Oh……..she is sitting and talking to some girls and some of my friends………….i went to ask some of the guys at the beach, to teach me swimming………so that I can also jump like Donovan………………I see him ….now he is resting……he looks exhausted….may be drank too much water…..hi hi……………

I didn’t go to learn swimming………..i came back to her……she is not looking at me…something is not right!…somebody told her something about me…I wonder who that could be …and what he or she told her???……and she seems to have believed it…..i talked to her and she gets angry………she is yelling something and that is something I never did or meant………i ask her to trust me……but she is not ready…I also gets angry while she again says that I did something that never happened ….it made me angry……..i tells her with bursting anger….” Don’t ever accuse me of something I have never done ok………..? you have no right to talk like that about my character or personality…..if you don’t want to talk to me …fine……..go home…don’t stay....”

While I was saying that I saw her looking at my face and her eyes bursting with tears…she was crying? ,…..but I could’nt stop me from saying that…I just walked away……. I was heart broken….

We all got into a bus….she is also in the bus…….she is with some of my friends…..i didn’t look back….i was on the second row…..the bus was so crowded…..

Then I thought of her…..what happened to her…why she misunderstood me…..i cant stand such wrong judgements…..there is nothing wrong on my side….let her apologise to me first……then we shall talk again….

Thoughts kept coming into mind………

When I invited her she travelled all this long way to see me… alone….thats because she cared about me…..and what have I done…?..i insulted my guest….. my love….. in front of a croud….

….i was going to propose her this evening…

Instead………?

I made her cry……what an idiot I am………??

How can I make anyone cry..? and a girl ……also my love she was.

What happened to me………? I was not like this………!!

i could have talked calmly later when she cooled down..…I felt terribly wrong…her crying face came to my mind and I couldn’t bear it….my heart was beating like some disaster took place..….i started weeping silently because I was surrounded by friends…when the bus stopped we all got down and I looked for her….but she was not in the bus…... I told my friends that I was going to meet her at her place…..i decided to tell all my feelings for her……..i didn’t know what was going to happen…..i just took a bus to my mother’s place…Kollam..i knew her home…..i wished if she was near me………..because I missed her so much………..

no…...!

I missed her always….!!!